Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent. -- Marilyn vos Savant
Another open water swim...another failure. The current was strong again, and I ended up behind the start line. I panicked. I couldn't make forward progress. And I gave up.
Not forever. But for the evening. The problem is -- I need to have an OWS success pretty soon, or it's going to feel permanent. I'm not sure I'm ever NOT going to feel defeated if I manage to have a good outing. Hubby says it's all in my head (or most of it). I'm not so sure - the current was strong again and I'm a weak swimmer. I really truly couldn't make progress. And then I panicked.
OK - yes, the panic is in my head, but the current pushing me down river away from everyone (including the safety kayaks and the instructor) was NOT in my head. I felt like I was swimming, but apparently not strong enough to keep up with the current. I wouldn't even mind a swimming "treadmill" - making no progress - but I got nervous when I sighted and realized how far upriver I had started. (We are supposed to swim upriver and then come back down river. I never made it past the dock we left from...
I'm not giving up. But it is getting harder - and we're going on vacation soon, so my OWS opportunities will be nil for a few weeks. I know next time it will be even harder - but somehow I have to get over this.
No comments:
Post a Comment