Being is like pretending. -- Mira Sorvino
I suffer from impostor syndrome. It's not all that uncommon for people in my line of work - I'm a professor. There are many jokes, memes, etc., about impostor syndrome in academia. It's just a thing.
On the off chance you're unfamiliar - impostor syndrome (according to Wikipedia) refers to "high-achieving individuals marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud." Regardless of evidence to the contrary, I wonder whether I know enough, write enough, am smart enough to be the professor I am.
I also suffer from impostor syndrome with respect to triathlons. OK, maybe I'm not high-achieving athletically, but sometimes I still wonder whether I'm really a triathlete...despite the fact I've finished x triathlons. When I hang out with other triathletes, sometimes I wonder if I really belong there. It's really the same feelings I have in my professional life. Weird huh?
So an interesting thing happened yesterday, my two pretend worlds collided...and weirdly enough, I feel a little like less of an impostor because of it...which I have to say is unexpected. And a little bit cool.
I won a big teaching award yesterday. In receiving my award, the provost of the university was laying out my accomplishments and mentioned that in my spare time, I do triathlons. Then I got my plaque and while shaking hands with the university president, he remarked how impressed he was. In a world where I feel like an impostor for teaching, I got mad props for doing triathlons. Weird, huh?
And then, because what else would I do, I put a few snaps of me and my award on Facebook. And then all my triathlon friends remarked how awesome it was that I was a great teacher and that they weren't at all surprised. Even weirder?
Anyway, I realize that impostor syndrome doesn't serve me well in either sphere of my life - clearly I need to do a better job of accepting the external evidence that I'm doing just fine. I deserve to be there. I belong and I succeed. And maybe this weird juxtaposition will give me a little boost along that path.
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