Get up, groan, write a bit, moan, eat breakfast, write some more, cycle my bike through the Sligo hills, make up country songs as I pedal along, sing them, have lunch, have a nap, groan, moan, write a small bit more, cook dinner, feed wifey, open a bottle or several, slump, sleep. -- Kevin Barry
So it appears I'm in a bit of a slump. IronSherpa says so. And I guess I kind of feel it. My workouts feel hard. I'm not happy with my performance. I think (hope?) it's because I'm just not back to where I was and I wanted to comeback faster but I was unrealistic. Plus I'm swimming up a lane, so it's hard to feel confident when you're getting lapped...I don't like feeling like I hold up my lane, but I'm still swimming more/faster than the lane back, so the coach keeps reassuring me I'm in the right spot and that soon I will keep up if I keep doing the work, but it's not really registering right now.
I realize that this is probably my 2nd or 3rd complainy whiny moany post in a row, which is why it's important for me to put it out there. I should be embarrassed that I'm so slumpy. So I decided to find a song to pep me up...there are some seriously weird people out there, but this song (Float On by Modest Mouse) comes highly recommended...I had remembered hearing it on the radio but never viewing it as a pep song, but now that I've seen the words and watched the totally bizarre video that forces you to smile, well, I'm all in.
Bad news comes, don't you worry even when it lands,
I ran my fastest marathon in the rain. -- Bill Rodgers
I can tell you, folks, I am no Bill Rodgers. For so many reasons, but in particular, because rain does not make me particularly fast. Or happy.
On Sunday I ran the Frostbite 15K - yeah, it's a weird distance and a weird race. I've run it the last two years and both times it was cold (once unpleasantly so), but usually sunny and dry. Well, not this past weekend. Instead, it was cold (unpleasantly so) and a monsoon, which is unusual, since we don't usually have monsoons in the midAtlantic. :)
But before I whine anymore about the weather, let's do a little Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock, right? Because you know you want to.
OK, now that we all feel better, or at least I do...the race. Two years ago, I had a bad race, but this was when I was starting to come back from being lazy and sluggish...right before I started this blog and hit the HIM trail. It took me 1:45.
Last year, I did it in 1:30 and was so excited. I was absolutely glowing and in love with running. Looking back, it is a beautiful thing to see...'cause I don't feel that love for running again yet. And that makes me nervous because I have a marathon coming up in less than two months and I don't want it to suck. But it also makes me happy because I know that I can come out from under a slump and start to love running and training again. I just haven't gotten there yet. YET.
Y'know what? I don't want to even talk about this year's race. I hated it. I dumped a gallon of water out of my running jacket sleeves when I crossed the finish line. My shoes are still wet almost a week later. I still can feel a damp chill in my bones. And I was even slower than two years ago.
But let's focus on the positive. I've been down before and I got up. And I can do it again. So let's move past the Frostbite 15K and think about what's next...
A snow day literally and figuratively falls from the sky, unbidden, and seems like a thing of wonder. -- Susan Orlean
Yesterday was the first snow day for central Virginia. Or "snow" day - because looking outside, there wasn't really ever that much on the ground. It led to a very interesting morning, however, and cemented the fact that I am pretty much insane. But you knew that already.
I got up at 5 to go to Masters - I knew that it was supposed to be freezing rain and I really wanted to go back to bed, but I looked at Facebook and since Masters hadn't cancelled, I figured it must not be too bad. Also, the local schools hadn't closed yet...so I guess I should go. I get all ready, taking my time, and checking (constantly) to see if there were any changes...but no. So I start packing up the car - and as I'm heading into the garage with load #2 (Wednesdays are busy for me, so I had like 5 bags between swim gear, work clothes, work gear, and lunch), the house phone starts to ring...I grab it so the family is less disturbed AT 5:17 IN THE MORNING. Two-hour delay for the local schools. OK. Fine. Check Masters one more time. No notice. So I go.
It's slick getting out of my neighborhood, not so bad on the highways, but my windshield is icing over with the freezing rain. Turn the defroster all the way up and creep along. I am going to be late, but whatevs...it's better to be there late and alive, right? I pull into the parking lot for Masters at 5:55. Usually the parking lot is full at 5:50...but a lot of it is the high school kids that swim there. But there are also usually cars where the grown ups park. And there are NO OTHER CARS. NONE. Crap - I just risked life & limb, drove for 40 minutes (which is how long it normally takes...but there was NO ONE on the road but me...so even though I was poking along, there were no lights to stop at and no traffic), and there isn't even Masters? Are you kidding me?
I park the car, check Facebook again...notice from Masters - its on, the coach is on the way, he'l be there soon. OK. And two other cars show up. Idiots. Oh, wait - if they're idiots, so am I. Yeah, that light bulb went off. When one of the other people goes in, I grab my gear and head in too. It is so quiet at the pool. Usually it's abuzz with high school kids and others. But it's like...spooky it's so quiet.
Anyway - the coach shows up and there are 4 swimmers total. I didn't want to get in the water, but hell, I was there. And it turned out to be a great session - since there were only four people there (and 2 of them are great swimmers), the coach spent a lot of time with the other lady in my lane and me. Basically a private swim lesson and I got a lot of coaching on things I need to work on, especially with body position. So that was awesome. Seriously - even though you'll probably hear me whine about how it's so hard to keep all these changes in my head while I'm trying to swim at the same time...but I am really grateful that I got up and went swimming yesterday.
And then I got out of the pool, got ready, went out to my car...and the local schools are completely closed and my job is basically on 2-hour delay. It's 7:30am and campus doesn't open until 10. Crap. Now what - too far to go back home, so I might as well get some breakfast and go to work...
When I related the story of my morning to my friends (triathlete and non-triathlete), the reaction was pretty much the same - you are INSANE! Yeah, well, one man's insanity is another man's dedication. :)
And, hey - it was better than spending the day the way a lot of people spent the "snow" day...
(Yeah, I know - it's Bruno Mars...but who can not smile at this song, especially with the backup-dancer monkeys. Seriously.)
If I see one more forensics show, I'm gonna throw up. -- Dean Winters
Or in my case, if I throw up, I'm gonna spend the day on the couch watching forensics shows. Chicken or the egg? Who knows.
Anyway, the stomach flu or food poisoning (I'm not a doctor - who knows which) had me down for the count on Monday afternoon and all day yesterday. More info than you needed, but it did let me catch up on all of the Law & Order (any of the many varieties), Criminal Minds, NCIS, CSI, Bones, etc. More than any human needs to watch in any given month (or year). Thankfully I'm feeling better today because if I see one more forensics show...
Of course, this little detour in my New Year did have the added benefit of allowing me to drop 4 pounds overnight. (Not that I'm expecting it will remain off...but it was motivating to see a small number, so that's a good thing right?) Unfortunately, it threw off my training for the week. I realized I was sick 2 minutes into a treadmill run on Monday and I'm not doing anything until tomorrow (Thursday), so that's like 3 unplanned days off, which makes me a little twitchy. I know when you're sick, it's OK to take days off...but I don't like it.
Hopefully I'll be back running tomorrow and able to get my long run in this weekend, because that DC marathon is sneaking up fast and I want to do my best at it (not to mention the 15K and half-mary in between...yikes!). This year is already moving too fast...I need to get a little faster if I'm going to keep up.
Change and renewal are themes in life, aren't they? We keep growing throughout life. -- Susan Minot New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and discovery. . . . Only dreams give birth to change. -- Sarah Ban Breathnach
I'll admit it -- I'm a bit of a "resoluter." I pretend to disdain those folks who think they can only make changes on January 1, or at the beginning of the month, or on Monday. But really, seeing a wide open calendar with none of the past year's mistakes or regrets makes me want to be better. I set goals, I make plans, I prepare for a good year. So yeah - I'm not much better than the people who are starting their diet today. Who hit the gym yesterday. Who have big dreams for 2015.
I guess the only way I am different is that usually I fade in October, rather than in 2 weeks. And usually it's after some big thing, not just because I'm bored of my resolutions. In 2013, I kind of went downhill after I was successful at the HIM. In 2014, I went downhill (and then some) after the IMLOU disaster. Maybe I shouldn't put myself in the same category as the "resoluters" but I'm telling you right now, I'm looking at today, January 2, as a fresh start. A time to get my diet back on track (because you don't even want to know how much extra junk I got in the trunk right now), get my training amped up a level, and get some other areas of my life straightened out.
(Of course, the "diet" - which isn't really a diet but just plain old good eating habits - starts today, because NYE and NY Day are really just excuses to eat all night and all day. See, I'm making excuses already, in true resoluter fashion.)
That all being said, I'm not starting from zero, obviously. I've been on the comeback trail for a little while - basically since I was cleared to run again. It hasn't been easy and my mojo isn't always where it used to be...but I've had some good showings. On NYE, I did the same swim challenge I did last year - 100x100s for charity. Last year I swam 50x100s and was way impressed with myself. This year I swam 71. And I can't move my arms anymore. And on NY Day, last year I set a 5K PR...this year I did the same race, and although no PR, my unofficial time was sub-30, which means I'm on my way back. So I have a lot to be proud of, even before the year starts. But I also have some big goals for the year and they're going to take a lot of work and that is scary.
You've heard all about the sub-5 marathon goal - and I have 2 marys on the calendar - DC Rock & Roll in March and OBX in November. And I WILL finish IM MD in October. I will be an IRONMAN. Damnit. I also have 30 pounds I need to lose. My weight has been a roller coaster for the last few years - and even when I got it back down (after it going back up), it never went back to my "goal" weight...(and 30 pounds won't get me there either)...but last year it just crept up as I ate like a lumberjack (er, I mean Ironman) and then when I sat about on my butt for the last 3 months. I think the goals are tied together - I can't succeed at the race goals without taking off some of the baggage...so that's added incentive. These are HUGE goals for me - brick walls in front of me, obstacles beyond comprehension...but I believe I can achieve them and I'm willing to put in the work.
Another goal is for me to write here more - I felt a lot better about my training when I started this blog a few years ago and it kept me motivated. So my goal for 2015 is to blog 3x a week...to keep me connected to my goals and keep me accountable. I have left some of the other training websites I used to use - they weren't really keeping me motivated or accountable anymore, plus I have real-life friends that have stepped in for some of the "virtual" friends that I used to enjoy from the websites. But without the website, I don't have the same outlet for my training ups and downs...so here they will go.
Have a great 2015! May your goals be as big and scary as mine, and may you achieve them!
