It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help keep a family together over the long haul. -- Caroline Kennedy
You know your family has a problem when your Christmas card has a bunch of triathlon pictures on it. :) I was going back through the year, looking at the times our family spent together, and races were definitely prevalent. So I put some on our card. I was worried that it would look goofy, but IronSherpa said it looked good, so out it went. I guess it shouldn't matter - our family and friends already know what nuts we are!
This year we are making some traditions and memories around the holidays, involving races, naturally. On Thanksgiving, IronSherpa and I ran the same Turkey Trot 10K we ran last year. I was slower, but still - it was a good event. Then the entire family ran the Toys for Tots 5K. I ran it last year with the Youngest, but this year we all ran. Everyone set a PR except me - and IronSherpa and Oldest both got awards for placing in their age groups. It was really pretty awesome and a tradition I'd like to continue. Finally, last year I ran the First Day 5K on New Years Day...and this year IronSherpa and Youngest will be running it with me. Eldest is going to volunteer. The family that races together creates traditions and memories and stays together. :)
Monday, December 22, 2014
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Little Glimpses and Baby Steps and A Christmas Carol
Life is a series of baby steps along the way and if you add up these tiny little steps you take toward your goal, whatever it is, whether it's giving up something a terrible addiction or trying to work your way through an illness. When you total up those baby steps you'd be amazed over the course of 10 years, the strides you've taken. -- Hoda Kotb
Occasionally I am starting to see little glimpses of what I had before I got hurt this year. This week I ran 3 miles without any walk breaks. And I ran 7.5 miles at a 9:1 ratio of run:walk. And both were good. Not fast. Not as fast as I have been and not even fast, period. But my foot didn't hurt. And both outings made me feel as though I am going to get back there. Someday.
(BTW - I kind of love Gonzo...this is my 2nd favorite all-time Muppet song.)
I'm also starting to see tiny glimpses of things good things to come. (Yeah, I realize I'm starting to sound like A Christmas Carol . . . the ghost of Christmas Past, the ghost of Christmas Present...it's that time of year.) I have moved up a lane in swimming - LANE 3! OMG. I can't keep up completely - especially when we are doing pull sets, but I'm getting there and it's exciting. I was getting comfortable (and occasionally frustrated) in my old lane. I'm not comfortable in my new lane, but I feel like it will be good for me. It's time to take my swimming a baby step further.
And to wrap up the trilogy...the ghost of Christmas Long Ago...it is hard to get to this time of year without remembering where I was 9 years ago. My baby was almost one. I was out of shape, a lot heavier and fatter than I am now, and I didn't have any sort of ambition with respect to my health and fitness. It's hard to even remember what that felt like, especially now where my whole family's world revolves around sports, racing, and other healthy activities. Even though I've lost some of the fitness I have recently had and gained some pounds I'd rather have kept lost, the quote above is spot on...it's amazing how many years of baby steps can take you to someplace you never dreamed of being. It's been a long hike, full of tiny steps forwards and back, but I can't wait to see what is coming up ahead.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite Christmas carols (without the ghosts, of course)...
Occasionally I am starting to see little glimpses of what I had before I got hurt this year. This week I ran 3 miles without any walk breaks. And I ran 7.5 miles at a 9:1 ratio of run:walk. And both were good. Not fast. Not as fast as I have been and not even fast, period. But my foot didn't hurt. And both outings made me feel as though I am going to get back there. Someday.
(BTW - I kind of love Gonzo...this is my 2nd favorite all-time Muppet song.)
I'm also starting to see tiny glimpses of things good things to come. (Yeah, I realize I'm starting to sound like A Christmas Carol . . . the ghost of Christmas Past, the ghost of Christmas Present...it's that time of year.) I have moved up a lane in swimming - LANE 3! OMG. I can't keep up completely - especially when we are doing pull sets, but I'm getting there and it's exciting. I was getting comfortable (and occasionally frustrated) in my old lane. I'm not comfortable in my new lane, but I feel like it will be good for me. It's time to take my swimming a baby step further.
And to wrap up the trilogy...the ghost of Christmas Long Ago...it is hard to get to this time of year without remembering where I was 9 years ago. My baby was almost one. I was out of shape, a lot heavier and fatter than I am now, and I didn't have any sort of ambition with respect to my health and fitness. It's hard to even remember what that felt like, especially now where my whole family's world revolves around sports, racing, and other healthy activities. Even though I've lost some of the fitness I have recently had and gained some pounds I'd rather have kept lost, the quote above is spot on...it's amazing how many years of baby steps can take you to someplace you never dreamed of being. It's been a long hike, full of tiny steps forwards and back, but I can't wait to see what is coming up ahead.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite Christmas carols (without the ghosts, of course)...
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Keeping It All Together
Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. -- Charles Kettering
Balancing family and work is a top priority for me, and I treat it as such. Meaning, I actually put specific family time and events in my calendar so that precious time is dedicated and properly blocked off from any work that may try to sneak its way into my schedule. -- Biz Stone
Lately I've been a bit overwhelmed with work activities - the end of the semester is always a busy time and I've let it sneak up on me this year. I think it's especially worse given my persistent injury funk...but I'm working on it. In fact, I ran my first race since the DNF...a 10K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. I was about 5 minutes slower than my time at the same race last year, and that bothered me a little bit, but I've settled into a peaceful acceptance that I'm on the comeback trail. I should be thrilled that 1) I ran 2) pain-free 3) over the whole distance (9 run:1 walk) and 4) am only 5 minutes slower, even though I'm XX pounds heavier. (My post-injury weight gain is another post altogether.)
Anyway, back to being crushed by real life...I have plans to get myself dug out by the end of the year, so I can start 2015 on a fresh page. And that's critical. With IronSherpa and I both training for an IM race next year, keeping it all together -- family, work, training -- is going to be a serious exercise in logistics. Like UPS couldn't even keep up.
This isn't an advertisement for UPS - like I said, they couldn't keep up with the Iron Family's life...but I do want to give a shout out to a company that I hope is going to be a huge help as I plan and execute a successful 2015 - family-wise/work-wise/and race-wise.
This company makes a product known as the Passion Planner - check it out here.
They're currently wrapping up a Kickstarter campaign...and they've been very successful - which doesn't surprise me, because this is exactly the type of "keep it all together" that I've been looking for. Goal setting, motivation, personal & professional to-do lists, etc....all in one place. I think I'm in love. IronSherpa and I keep a shared web calendar for appointments, but I need something in addition to that. And this is what I plan to use for 2015.
(PS - I don't usually give shout outs to companies, unless I'm totally in love with their products. I'm not a professional blogger & I have no affiliation with Passion Planner. Even though I've only used a few sample pages from their website, I'm just telling you my plans...kind of like I usually do.)
Balancing family and work is a top priority for me, and I treat it as such. Meaning, I actually put specific family time and events in my calendar so that precious time is dedicated and properly blocked off from any work that may try to sneak its way into my schedule. -- Biz Stone
Lately I've been a bit overwhelmed with work activities - the end of the semester is always a busy time and I've let it sneak up on me this year. I think it's especially worse given my persistent injury funk...but I'm working on it. In fact, I ran my first race since the DNF...a 10K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. I was about 5 minutes slower than my time at the same race last year, and that bothered me a little bit, but I've settled into a peaceful acceptance that I'm on the comeback trail. I should be thrilled that 1) I ran 2) pain-free 3) over the whole distance (9 run:1 walk) and 4) am only 5 minutes slower, even though I'm XX pounds heavier. (My post-injury weight gain is another post altogether.)
Anyway, back to being crushed by real life...I have plans to get myself dug out by the end of the year, so I can start 2015 on a fresh page. And that's critical. With IronSherpa and I both training for an IM race next year, keeping it all together -- family, work, training -- is going to be a serious exercise in logistics. Like UPS couldn't even keep up.
 |
| Photo - Fortune.com; Trademarks - UPS |
This company makes a product known as the Passion Planner - check it out here.
They're currently wrapping up a Kickstarter campaign...and they've been very successful - which doesn't surprise me, because this is exactly the type of "keep it all together" that I've been looking for. Goal setting, motivation, personal & professional to-do lists, etc....all in one place. I think I'm in love. IronSherpa and I keep a shared web calendar for appointments, but I need something in addition to that. And this is what I plan to use for 2015.
(PS - I don't usually give shout outs to companies, unless I'm totally in love with their products. I'm not a professional blogger & I have no affiliation with Passion Planner. Even though I've only used a few sample pages from their website, I'm just telling you my plans...kind of like I usually do.)
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Happy Thanksgiving!
I write about the power of trying, because I want to be okay with failing. I write about generosity because I battle selfishness. I write about joy because I know sorrow. I write about faith because I almost lost mine, and I know what it is to be broken and in need of redemption. I write about gratitude because I am thankful - for all of it. -- Kristin Armstrong
It's time for my annual Thanksgiving post - and it's a bittersweet one to write. Looking back over this past year, it is so easy to focus in on the failure. THE failure. The FAILURE. And so hard to see anything else. What did you do on your summer vacation? I DNF'd IMLOU. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I made the right decision to quite, but I'll be honest - it has really dealt a blow to my ego, my ambition, not to mention my waistline.
Looking back, I started this blog because I was trying to do something scary. Trying. And I succeeded. And after racking up a number of successes that surprised me (because I have low expectations for myself), I started to think I wouldn't fail. But if I'm going to try, I need to be OK with failing.
Shortly after Louisville, I found this quote. It is time for me to start living this quote.
Since Louisville, and even before, I was the recipient of an immense amount of generosity. People were kind with their time, with their prayers, with their help. I have often been selfish with mine - it's not easy to be a full-time mom/wife/professional amateur triathlete. It's pretty much a constant juggling act and sometimes that makes me selfish. But one benefit of my failure is the gift of time to be generous...to volunteer...to show up. Generosity should be repaid, and I'm currently in debt.
I know some people will think that sorrow is too great an emotion to attach to my triathlon season. Sorrow should be reserved for big things...but it isn't. Sorrow is a feeling that attaches to all sorts of things. I know that I should focus on the joy of all the many gifts I have, of all the successes that have been achieved, and so on. But sometimes, I still am sad. And so I should write about joy. Because there is joy there too, if I take the time to see it.
Faith. Faith is hard. I feel like I have lost some faith in myself. I realize that all faith comes from elsewhere and it isn't really faith in myself that matters. And on a bigger plain, I get that. But I also know that I need to believe that God will give me the strength I need to achieve what is planned for me...and some of that is believing that I am stronger than I think I am.
Which leads me to gratitude. I am grateful for so many things as I come out of the funk that has been hanging over me for a couple months. Maybe I'm not coming out of it - I can't really tell. But I am grateful.
I am grateful for my family, who made it possible for me to try and loved me when I failed. I am grateful for my friends, who were there for the struggles and saw even the failure as a triumph of sorts. I am grateful for everyone who has been so generous to me - helping with logistics, helping with motivation, helping with praise, helping with trying to kick my butt back out of the funk. I am grateful that there is joy under the sorrow and that the world is not as dark as it sometimes can seem. I am grateful that I have faith, that I can rest in my faith when things look to hard for me. I am grateful for it all.
Happy Thanksgiving! May you have a holiday full of gratitude.
It's time for my annual Thanksgiving post - and it's a bittersweet one to write. Looking back over this past year, it is so easy to focus in on the failure. THE failure. The FAILURE. And so hard to see anything else. What did you do on your summer vacation? I DNF'd IMLOU. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I made the right decision to quite, but I'll be honest - it has really dealt a blow to my ego, my ambition, not to mention my waistline.
Looking back, I started this blog because I was trying to do something scary. Trying. And I succeeded. And after racking up a number of successes that surprised me (because I have low expectations for myself), I started to think I wouldn't fail. But if I'm going to try, I need to be OK with failing.
Shortly after Louisville, I found this quote. It is time for me to start living this quote.
Since Louisville, and even before, I was the recipient of an immense amount of generosity. People were kind with their time, with their prayers, with their help. I have often been selfish with mine - it's not easy to be a full-time mom/wife/professional amateur triathlete. It's pretty much a constant juggling act and sometimes that makes me selfish. But one benefit of my failure is the gift of time to be generous...to volunteer...to show up. Generosity should be repaid, and I'm currently in debt.
I know some people will think that sorrow is too great an emotion to attach to my triathlon season. Sorrow should be reserved for big things...but it isn't. Sorrow is a feeling that attaches to all sorts of things. I know that I should focus on the joy of all the many gifts I have, of all the successes that have been achieved, and so on. But sometimes, I still am sad. And so I should write about joy. Because there is joy there too, if I take the time to see it.
Faith. Faith is hard. I feel like I have lost some faith in myself. I realize that all faith comes from elsewhere and it isn't really faith in myself that matters. And on a bigger plain, I get that. But I also know that I need to believe that God will give me the strength I need to achieve what is planned for me...and some of that is believing that I am stronger than I think I am.
Which leads me to gratitude. I am grateful for so many things as I come out of the funk that has been hanging over me for a couple months. Maybe I'm not coming out of it - I can't really tell. But I am grateful.
I am grateful for my family, who made it possible for me to try and loved me when I failed. I am grateful for my friends, who were there for the struggles and saw even the failure as a triumph of sorts. I am grateful for everyone who has been so generous to me - helping with logistics, helping with motivation, helping with praise, helping with trying to kick my butt back out of the funk. I am grateful that there is joy under the sorrow and that the world is not as dark as it sometimes can seem. I am grateful that I have faith, that I can rest in my faith when things look to hard for me. I am grateful for it all.
Happy Thanksgiving! May you have a holiday full of gratitude.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Life is not a spectator sport...
As a spectator, you get to watch everything, but I'd much rather be playing than watching. I'll have time to watch later in my career. -- Landon Donovan
This past weekend I got the chance to spectate at the Richmond Marathon. IronSherpa husband was doing his first full marathon and as a show of support, the IronKids and I chased him around the course - seeing him at miles 7, 18, and 22. We didn't get to see him at the finish line, because IronKid the Elder had a soccer tournament last weekend too...so it was one of those weekends. Like every weekend.
I can't say I'm jealous - I mean - I am jealous, but I was never intending to run Richmond this year. I was signed up for OBX Marathon that was the weekend prior, so this weekend was always going to be a spectator event for me. But given that I deferred OBX until next year, it was harder than I expected.
The weird thing is what bothers me the most. Finisher jackets. Yeah, that's what I find to be the biggest trigger for jealousy, disappointment, etc. I worked the marathon expo at the tri club's booth, so I got to see many of the participants. And there were more than a few people wearing IM finisher jackets - those sleek black jackets with FINISHER across the behind. That was what I wanted more than anything Louisville...and they still make me a bit weepy when I see people wearing them. Doesn't matter what IM they are from. Just the idea of having FINISHER across my butt is going to drive me from now until October of next year. :) Good to know, huh?
Anyway, IronSherpa had a great race. I'm getting back into the running groove - did my longest run since Louisville this past weekend (6.5 miles)...OK, so it's 20 miles shorter than what IronSherpa ran, but still - it was an accomplishment for me. And that's what's been going on here. :)
This past weekend I got the chance to spectate at the Richmond Marathon. IronSherpa husband was doing his first full marathon and as a show of support, the IronKids and I chased him around the course - seeing him at miles 7, 18, and 22. We didn't get to see him at the finish line, because IronKid the Elder had a soccer tournament last weekend too...so it was one of those weekends. Like every weekend.
I can't say I'm jealous - I mean - I am jealous, but I was never intending to run Richmond this year. I was signed up for OBX Marathon that was the weekend prior, so this weekend was always going to be a spectator event for me. But given that I deferred OBX until next year, it was harder than I expected.
The weird thing is what bothers me the most. Finisher jackets. Yeah, that's what I find to be the biggest trigger for jealousy, disappointment, etc. I worked the marathon expo at the tri club's booth, so I got to see many of the participants. And there were more than a few people wearing IM finisher jackets - those sleek black jackets with FINISHER across the behind. That was what I wanted more than anything Louisville...and they still make me a bit weepy when I see people wearing them. Doesn't matter what IM they are from. Just the idea of having FINISHER across my butt is going to drive me from now until October of next year. :) Good to know, huh?
Anyway, IronSherpa had a great race. I'm getting back into the running groove - did my longest run since Louisville this past weekend (6.5 miles)...OK, so it's 20 miles shorter than what IronSherpa ran, but still - it was an accomplishment for me. And that's what's been going on here. :)
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Travelogue - Scottsdale Arizona
Arizona is gorgeous. The sunshine in Arizona is gorgeous red. --Cecilia Bartoli
Greetings from sunny Scottsdale, Arizona! I'm traveling for work and had the opportunity to go for a beautiful run with the sunrise this morning. I left my room while it was still dark, running with the lights that lined the roads in the resort area while I'm staying. (I left the resort property for a little bit, but got a little worried since I was unclear on the local fauna...I hear there are jackrabbits running around at the least.)
But then the sun came up and I realized that I'm in an area situated between two mountain ranges. Plus there are amazing cacti - so cool. As soon as I finished my run, I went back in and got my camera to catch the tail end of the sunrise.
I am so glad I can run. I'm so glad I can enjoy the beautiful views along the way.
Oh. And there are all these cool Native American statues around the property. Bam.
Greetings from sunny Scottsdale, Arizona! I'm traveling for work and had the opportunity to go for a beautiful run with the sunrise this morning. I left my room while it was still dark, running with the lights that lined the roads in the resort area while I'm staying. (I left the resort property for a little bit, but got a little worried since I was unclear on the local fauna...I hear there are jackrabbits running around at the least.)
But then the sun came up and I realized that I'm in an area situated between two mountain ranges. Plus there are amazing cacti - so cool. As soon as I finished my run, I went back in and got my camera to catch the tail end of the sunrise.
I am so glad I can run. I'm so glad I can enjoy the beautiful views along the way.
Oh. And there are all these cool Native American statues around the property. Bam.
Monday, November 3, 2014
I Love it When a Plan Comes Together
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. -- Henry Ford
So...my future race plans are starting to come together. And, you know, I love it when a plan comes together.
I've shared some of this before, but it was pretty tentative...now things are gelling and I'm registered for a bunch of stuff, which is very exciting!
How cool is that - it's only the beginning of November and I have 6 things that I'm registered for between now and the end of next November. I guess that means I'm feeling pretty confident in how things are going - which I do. My swimming is currently going well, I'm starting to get back onto the bike, and I'm RUNNING! This week is 4 run/1 walk...so nearly back to full time running, plus I ran ~ 10 miles last week and have 11.5 miles on this week's plan. Yeah!
Things are coming together - now I just gotta keep them together through the winter.
So...my future race plans are starting to come together. And, you know, I love it when a plan comes together.
I've shared some of this before, but it was pretty tentative...now things are gelling and I'm registered for a bunch of stuff, which is very exciting!
2014
November - Turkey Trot 10K (R)
December
2015
January - First Day 5K, Frostbite 15K
February - Love Rox Half Mary (R)
March - Rock & Roll DC Mary (R)
April - RTC Sprint Tri
May - Raleigh 70.3 (R)
...
October - IM MD (R)
November - OBX Mary (R)
How cool is that - it's only the beginning of November and I have 6 things that I'm registered for between now and the end of next November. I guess that means I'm feeling pretty confident in how things are going - which I do. My swimming is currently going well, I'm starting to get back onto the bike, and I'm RUNNING! This week is 4 run/1 walk...so nearly back to full time running, plus I ran ~ 10 miles last week and have 11.5 miles on this week's plan. Yeah!
Things are coming together - now I just gotta keep them together through the winter.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Being a Busy Iron Family
The primary part of the weekend is centered around my children, and I have to be flexible. To call an audible is to be liquid enough to understand that at any given time you have to be a chauffeur or a chaperone, especially for my 12-year-old and whatever her plans are. -- Lyor Cohen
Now that I'm up and running - no, really up and RUNNING! - things are busy again at home. Iron Sherpa is in the taper for his first marathon (go Hubby!), the elder IronKid is about to enter multiple weeks of soccer tournaments, and the younger IronKid has had multi-sports weekends (running races and volleyball) on top of all of our other wild and crazy activities. It feels crazy busy again - which is good, since some of the crazy is me getting to do stuff. Plus we've had a gorgeous Indian summer the last few days and I've enjoyed it.
Someone on the FB page for IMMD 2015, when I mentioned that IronSherpa & I were both doing IMMD 2015, asked "how do you do it all with kids"...and I answered her. IronSherpa thought I was being defensive, but I was really just trying to help. It takes a lot of logistics. It takes the ability to overlook the dust bunnies and the unmatched socks. It takes the history of having your kids do chores since they were little, so this isn't an added burden (or at least they don't notice as much when you put a little more on their plates). It takes the willingness to eat crockpot meals and casseroles (and even boxed food on occasion). But it can be done. To be fair, I have a flexible job, so I can work some of my long training days into the week, leaving the weekends free for IronSherpa, but it still takes some juggle, since IronKids are involved in different activities and (as Murphy's law would have it), they are inevitably scheduled for the same time on different ends of the county or state.
I think what it comes down to is the ability to be flexible if crap comes up and the ability to work with your IronSpouse (especially if he's doing it too) to share the free time and the responsibilities. But this isn't really just about doing an IM or a marathon or any endurance activity - it's kind of about life. How do you do it all? You have help. I'm not a big "it takes a village" person (but I do like the Village People). We don't have family nearby, but we do rely on the kindness of soccer carpools, etc. Mostly it's about making it work - the four of us. If it's important, it can be done...even if you have to call an audible now and then.
Now that I'm up and running - no, really up and RUNNING! - things are busy again at home. Iron Sherpa is in the taper for his first marathon (go Hubby!), the elder IronKid is about to enter multiple weeks of soccer tournaments, and the younger IronKid has had multi-sports weekends (running races and volleyball) on top of all of our other wild and crazy activities. It feels crazy busy again - which is good, since some of the crazy is me getting to do stuff. Plus we've had a gorgeous Indian summer the last few days and I've enjoyed it.
Someone on the FB page for IMMD 2015, when I mentioned that IronSherpa & I were both doing IMMD 2015, asked "how do you do it all with kids"...and I answered her. IronSherpa thought I was being defensive, but I was really just trying to help. It takes a lot of logistics. It takes the ability to overlook the dust bunnies and the unmatched socks. It takes the history of having your kids do chores since they were little, so this isn't an added burden (or at least they don't notice as much when you put a little more on their plates). It takes the willingness to eat crockpot meals and casseroles (and even boxed food on occasion). But it can be done. To be fair, I have a flexible job, so I can work some of my long training days into the week, leaving the weekends free for IronSherpa, but it still takes some juggle, since IronKids are involved in different activities and (as Murphy's law would have it), they are inevitably scheduled for the same time on different ends of the county or state.
I think what it comes down to is the ability to be flexible if crap comes up and the ability to work with your IronSpouse (especially if he's doing it too) to share the free time and the responsibilities. But this isn't really just about doing an IM or a marathon or any endurance activity - it's kind of about life. How do you do it all? You have help. I'm not a big "it takes a village" person (but I do like the Village People). We don't have family nearby, but we do rely on the kindness of soccer carpools, etc. Mostly it's about making it work - the four of us. If it's important, it can be done...even if you have to call an audible now and then.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Lessons Learned
There are no regrets in life, just lessons. -- Jennifer Aniston
I haven't had much to say recently. I'm slowly trying to build back up to where I was before...in so many areas of my life. I'm trying to get my fitness and strength back. I'm trying to regain my interest and willpower to eat properly. I'm trying to get organized and caught up on everything, especially the mountain of things I let slide while training for Louisville. These things all take time and, to be honest, they're not that interesting to talk about. Mostly they make me feel all introvert-y and dwell-y. But that's OK - I'm not going to talk about them today. I'm going to share some lessons learned during my run up to Louisville (and after); they're not all the lessons I learned, because I only remember some of them when I do them wrong again...but at least it's something.
I haven't had much to say recently. I'm slowly trying to build back up to where I was before...in so many areas of my life. I'm trying to get my fitness and strength back. I'm trying to regain my interest and willpower to eat properly. I'm trying to get organized and caught up on everything, especially the mountain of things I let slide while training for Louisville. These things all take time and, to be honest, they're not that interesting to talk about. Mostly they make me feel all introvert-y and dwell-y. But that's OK - I'm not going to talk about them today. I'm going to share some lessons learned during my run up to Louisville (and after); they're not all the lessons I learned, because I only remember some of them when I do them wrong again...but at least it's something.
- You can't judge a current by the practice swim. It may be lovely and smooth as glass the day before and chop city the day of the race. Or it can be fast as hell the day before the race and much more languid on race morning. It doesn't matter what it is the day before, does it?
- Pizza is always a good pre-race meal. Not only does it sit well (with me at least), but your sherpas (family) will also be pleased to eat something that is not gross. Like protein shakes.
- If it hurts, figure out what hurts. Is it your brain or is it your body? Sometimes your brain lies. If your brain is lying to you, keep going a little further. If your body is saying it hurts, STOP and listen. There's a reason for it.
- Don't underestimate chamois cream. That is enough on that point.
- Liquid calories are good. At some point, even chocolate poptarts don't taste good. And on the same point, Hot Fudge Sundae poptarts are the bomb.
- When you aren't training for an Ironman, you should not eat like you are still training for an Ironman. Your scale will thank you. Hot Fudge Sundae poptarts should be reserved for Ironman training.
- Becoming one with your bike is a good thing. Name her. Love her. Don't forget to wipe off all that sports drink you spilled down the front of her because then it gets like fly paper all up in there and it's nasty and your favorite Iron sherpa gets all crabby when he has to clean it.
- If you register for a race thinking you can train in the heat, it will be an unnaturally cold summer. If you register for a race thinking it will be cool, you will train in the cool and race day will be a heat wave. If you register for a race thinking you know anything about what the weather will be for training season or race day, you are delusional.
- There are worse things that can happen than DNF'ing a race. Remember that and be grateful.
- People will think you're a bad ass whether you finish an Ironman or not. It's very strange. Enjoy the compliments.
- However long you think you've been out there -- whether training or during the race -- you're over-estimating. Keep swimming. Keep biking. Keep running. You're doing fine.
- Hot Fudge Sundae poptarts really are better than you'd expect. So are Nerds candy. Advil is also good. Licking salt out of a plastic baggy? Surprisingly like drinking a margarita without the beverage.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Foodie!
There shouldn't be an announcement that divides our food between what tastes good and what is good for us. -- Marcus Samuelsson
So, it's time to get back to life, back to reality...and that has to start with real food.
I think I gained 15 pounds training for Louisville...and I had a few to lose before then. Hey, it was important to test out what Pop Tarts were the most conducive to my training (Hot Fudge Sundae, by the way) and I was hungry 24/7. In fact I think I was hungry 30/7...but now I'm not training for an IM - I'm barely following a Couch-to-5K type plan of walking and running in order to build up slowly and let my foot continue to heal. And so I need to put a little more energy into planning good, healthy eating...that tastes good.
I've been looking for some kind of plan or guideline, because I'm not terribly useful doing it myself. I like the idea of paleo, but I find that I do need a little starch in my life. So I stumbled upon this page yesterday: 100 Days of Real Food. They have a 10-day challenge and then they have a 100 Days of Mini-challenges. I think I'm going to try to do them back to back - the 10-day challenge just to get myself off to a strong start and then the 100-Days to build a lifestyle of it. There's nothing weird about the food and it's not strict. It's just about eating real food. All the time. Which is what I know I should do.
I may be a little boring over the next few weeks and months, because I'd like to share my food journey in addition to my training journey. Sorry if that's not your speed - there'll be plenty of chit-chat about training, racing, triathlons, etc. But I think that my eating is going to be important for my success next year...and I'm going to rock next year!
So, it's time to get back to life, back to reality...and that has to start with real food.
I think I gained 15 pounds training for Louisville...and I had a few to lose before then. Hey, it was important to test out what Pop Tarts were the most conducive to my training (Hot Fudge Sundae, by the way) and I was hungry 24/7. In fact I think I was hungry 30/7...but now I'm not training for an IM - I'm barely following a Couch-to-5K type plan of walking and running in order to build up slowly and let my foot continue to heal. And so I need to put a little more energy into planning good, healthy eating...that tastes good.
I've been looking for some kind of plan or guideline, because I'm not terribly useful doing it myself. I like the idea of paleo, but I find that I do need a little starch in my life. So I stumbled upon this page yesterday: 100 Days of Real Food. They have a 10-day challenge and then they have a 100 Days of Mini-challenges. I think I'm going to try to do them back to back - the 10-day challenge just to get myself off to a strong start and then the 100-Days to build a lifestyle of it. There's nothing weird about the food and it's not strict. It's just about eating real food. All the time. Which is what I know I should do.
I may be a little boring over the next few weeks and months, because I'd like to share my food journey in addition to my training journey. Sorry if that's not your speed - there'll be plenty of chit-chat about training, racing, triathlons, etc. But I think that my eating is going to be important for my success next year...and I'm going to rock next year!
Monday, October 6, 2014
A Slow Building Process
You can't build a great building on a weak foundation. You must have a solid foundation if you're going to have a strong superstructure. -- Gordon B. Hinckley
It's going to be a long, slow process...but I need to remember I'm building a foundation for a superstructure. This past week I started "running" again. Let me call it running -- it makes me feel better. However, lest you worry that I'm trying to injure myself again, let me explain. "Running" equals 4 minutes walk, 1 minute run. Rinse. Repeat. For 2 miles. That's it. 30 minutes of training, with about 4 minutes total of running. It's a start.
And believe it or not, it's actually making me happy. Not overjoyed - it's painful that it's so slowwwwww. Not that I'm slow (which I am - but I have been before), but that it's going to be like this for a while. Maybe a little further this week, maybe running 2 minutes at a time the next week. Ugh.
It's important that I build up without getting hurt, though. Critical. Because I want to be a superstructure for the 2015 season. I have plans. I have goals. And I'm going to kick IM Maryland's butt. With my good feet.
It's going to be a long, slow process...but I need to remember I'm building a foundation for a superstructure. This past week I started "running" again. Let me call it running -- it makes me feel better. However, lest you worry that I'm trying to injure myself again, let me explain. "Running" equals 4 minutes walk, 1 minute run. Rinse. Repeat. For 2 miles. That's it. 30 minutes of training, with about 4 minutes total of running. It's a start.
And believe it or not, it's actually making me happy. Not overjoyed - it's painful that it's so slowwwwww. Not that I'm slow (which I am - but I have been before), but that it's going to be like this for a while. Maybe a little further this week, maybe running 2 minutes at a time the next week. Ugh.
It's important that I build up without getting hurt, though. Critical. Because I want to be a superstructure for the 2015 season. I have plans. I have goals. And I'm going to kick IM Maryland's butt. With my good feet.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Bootless!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: . . . a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. . . Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3-4.
A time to laugh . . . and a time to weep. A time to mourn . . . and there is a time to dance. And there was a time for this law, but not anymore. See, this is our time to dance. Ren (Kevin Bacon), FOOTLOOSE (the original, not the crap-ass remake)
So the good news from the ortho is that I'm boot-less...the bad news is that we still don't know what was/is wrong with my foot. So let's throw a little Kenny Loggins at it, no? (Well, apologies to Kenny at least....)
Yeah. So things like this happen to me. I get carried away. Which means that I'm going to need to be serious about SLOWLY (did I say SLOWLY) SLOWLY building up. There is a time to build, but it will be a long slow time. I need to remember this is an overuse injury, regardless of what it is, so slowly building up is the only way to do it. I'm not happy about it - in fact I'm still in a bit of a snit. But it is what it is and I'm ready to get back to it. SLOWLY. Promise. No really.
A time to laugh . . . and a time to weep. A time to mourn . . . and there is a time to dance. And there was a time for this law, but not anymore. See, this is our time to dance. Ren (Kevin Bacon), FOOTLOOSE (the original, not the crap-ass remake)
So the good news from the ortho is that I'm boot-less...the bad news is that we still don't know what was/is wrong with my foot. So let's throw a little Kenny Loggins at it, no? (Well, apologies to Kenny at least....)
Been working, so hard
I'm punching my card
Five weeks, for what?
Oh tell me what I got...
I got this feeling
That times are holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town...
Not I gotta cut loose, boot less,
Kick off the one left shoe
Please, Louise, end this misery
Jack, get Mack, come on before I crack
Lose these blues, every body cut boot less!
Yeah. So things like this happen to me. I get carried away. Which means that I'm going to need to be serious about SLOWLY (did I say SLOWLY) SLOWLY building up. There is a time to build, but it will be a long slow time. I need to remember this is an overuse injury, regardless of what it is, so slowly building up is the only way to do it. I'm not happy about it - in fact I'm still in a bit of a snit. But it is what it is and I'm ready to get back to it. SLOWLY. Promise. No really.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I, Volunteer
Research has shown that people who volunteer often live longer. -- Allen Klein
Shouting at people keeps you alive, healthy, young, fresh. -- Paul Capaldi
Well, given the above quotes, it looks like this weekend might keep me alive, healthy, young, and fresh for longer. :) I was a volunteer at a triathlon this weekend - might as well do something while I can't do anything, right? And I had a ball! I'm definitely going to volunteer again...it was fun and I got to shout at people, which is something I'm good at and truly enjoy.
That's me and my favorite little triathlete/volunteer/partner in crime. We got up super early to be at the race site by 5 am, body marked from 5:30 until 7:15 am, shouted directions and encouragement at bike out (above pic) from 7:15 until about 9:30 am, and then worked bike dismount until 11:30 am when we had to leave so little triathlete could go to volleyball. It was a lot of yelling and a lot of standing - good for the soul, bad for the foot...although that seemed to be short-lived soreness. Hoping the ortho will clear me this week...to lose the boot. He already warned me that it's 3 more weeks after that. Ugh.
Shouting at people keeps you alive, healthy, young, fresh. -- Paul Capaldi
Well, given the above quotes, it looks like this weekend might keep me alive, healthy, young, and fresh for longer. :) I was a volunteer at a triathlon this weekend - might as well do something while I can't do anything, right? And I had a ball! I'm definitely going to volunteer again...it was fun and I got to shout at people, which is something I'm good at and truly enjoy.
That's me and my favorite little triathlete/volunteer/partner in crime. We got up super early to be at the race site by 5 am, body marked from 5:30 until 7:15 am, shouted directions and encouragement at bike out (above pic) from 7:15 until about 9:30 am, and then worked bike dismount until 11:30 am when we had to leave so little triathlete could go to volleyball. It was a lot of yelling and a lot of standing - good for the soul, bad for the foot...although that seemed to be short-lived soreness. Hoping the ortho will clear me this week...to lose the boot. He already warned me that it's 3 more weeks after that. Ugh.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Decisions, Decisions
There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice. -- Simon Sinek
Well. I made a decision yesterday. I hadn't expected to make a decision. But I did. So there. On March 14, 2015, I will be doing the DC Rock and Roll Marathon in, well...duh... Washington DC.
In about 25 weeks...plenty of time for my foot to heel and even do a "couch-to-marathon"-ish type plan from beginning to end.
It wasn't an easy decision; in fact, I kind of agonized and dragged my feet on it for weeks. Not exactly weeks, because I hadn't even considered the DC R&R until last night, but I had been mulling over Instant Classic, Newport News, Shamrock, maybe even going back to the scene of my first injury at Charlottesville...all of the races had their own pros and cons. But in the end, DC R&R won out - and in a rush, because they were running a limited-time sale. Yeah, I'm one of those cheap people that will rush a purchase if there's a sale. (It ended up not being that great a sale because of the transaction fees to register - jeebus, seriously? How expensive can it be to process an Internet race registration...but I digress.)
Shamrock 3/15 - pros: I've done it before, it's fairly flat, all of my tri friends will be in VA Beach that weekend (most of them doing the half mary), free beer & great medals
cons: EXPENSIVE - expensive to register, expensive to stay (although last year I stayed away from the beach and it wasn't so bad), iffy weather along the shore, beer not as much fun if you have to drive home 2-3 hours...
Newport News 3/22 - pros: one more week of healing/training, one more week after the half mary I want to do in February, cheaper
cons: it's a new race & those are usually subject to logistical glitches, I prefer a big race right now and it's unknown how big it will be since it's new (and one week after Shamrock), I'd still have to stay overnight
Instant Classic, 3/14 - pros: I did the half mary there a few years ago, I wouldn't have to stay overnight, cheap
cons: SMALL SMALL SMALL - I'd be out there alone a lot, it's a trail race so no PR and potential injury, little to no hoopla
Charlottesville, 4/5 - pros: they've changed the course since I did it last (it was mega hilly), I wouldn't have to stay overnight, reasonably priced
cons: SMALL, SMALL (not as small as Instant Classic, so only two SMALLs), even with the course change it's still hilly, little to no hoopla
All of this brings me to DC R&R, 3/14...let's do the cons first.
cons: expensive, I'll have to stay overnight, LOGISTICS of dealing with metro & downtown DC with 25,000 of my closest running friends, not entirely flat, very short cutoff time (5.5 hours...with my marathon PR currently at 5:12)
pros: they were running a sale through yesterday (which ended up covering just slightly more than the processing fee :( ), it's a race I haven't done before, DC is generally not subject to the same windy weather that VA Beach is...
So you'd think that the cons might outweigh the pros, right? Yeah. Probably. But the thing of it is I love DC. I love the monuments. I love the neighborhoods (except the sketchy one that Iron Sherpa and I lived in right out of grad school). I love the tourists. I love being a tourist there more than I loved living there - but still... Anyway. I love to RUN in DC. When I'm there for conferences, I spend a lot of time out running the various trails or just around the monuments. When we lived there, I'd run up and down the Mall from my office near the White House. Seriously. And that, in the end, is why I will be in DC this March despite the many negatives I can see. I may hate the logistics and I may be stressed about the time cutoffs, but I will love running the race.
Well. I made a decision yesterday. I hadn't expected to make a decision. But I did. So there. On March 14, 2015, I will be doing the DC Rock and Roll Marathon in, well...duh... Washington DC.
In about 25 weeks...plenty of time for my foot to heel and even do a "couch-to-marathon"-ish type plan from beginning to end.
It wasn't an easy decision; in fact, I kind of agonized and dragged my feet on it for weeks. Not exactly weeks, because I hadn't even considered the DC R&R until last night, but I had been mulling over Instant Classic, Newport News, Shamrock, maybe even going back to the scene of my first injury at Charlottesville...all of the races had their own pros and cons. But in the end, DC R&R won out - and in a rush, because they were running a limited-time sale. Yeah, I'm one of those cheap people that will rush a purchase if there's a sale. (It ended up not being that great a sale because of the transaction fees to register - jeebus, seriously? How expensive can it be to process an Internet race registration...but I digress.)
Shamrock 3/15 - pros: I've done it before, it's fairly flat, all of my tri friends will be in VA Beach that weekend (most of them doing the half mary), free beer & great medals
cons: EXPENSIVE - expensive to register, expensive to stay (although last year I stayed away from the beach and it wasn't so bad), iffy weather along the shore, beer not as much fun if you have to drive home 2-3 hours...
Newport News 3/22 - pros: one more week of healing/training, one more week after the half mary I want to do in February, cheaper
cons: it's a new race & those are usually subject to logistical glitches, I prefer a big race right now and it's unknown how big it will be since it's new (and one week after Shamrock), I'd still have to stay overnight
Instant Classic, 3/14 - pros: I did the half mary there a few years ago, I wouldn't have to stay overnight, cheap
cons: SMALL SMALL SMALL - I'd be out there alone a lot, it's a trail race so no PR and potential injury, little to no hoopla
Charlottesville, 4/5 - pros: they've changed the course since I did it last (it was mega hilly), I wouldn't have to stay overnight, reasonably priced
cons: SMALL, SMALL (not as small as Instant Classic, so only two SMALLs), even with the course change it's still hilly, little to no hoopla
All of this brings me to DC R&R, 3/14...let's do the cons first.
cons: expensive, I'll have to stay overnight, LOGISTICS of dealing with metro & downtown DC with 25,000 of my closest running friends, not entirely flat, very short cutoff time (5.5 hours...with my marathon PR currently at 5:12)
pros: they were running a sale through yesterday (which ended up covering just slightly more than the processing fee :( ), it's a race I haven't done before, DC is generally not subject to the same windy weather that VA Beach is...
So you'd think that the cons might outweigh the pros, right? Yeah. Probably. But the thing of it is I love DC. I love the monuments. I love the neighborhoods (except the sketchy one that Iron Sherpa and I lived in right out of grad school). I love the tourists. I love being a tourist there more than I loved living there - but still... Anyway. I love to RUN in DC. When I'm there for conferences, I spend a lot of time out running the various trails or just around the monuments. When we lived there, I'd run up and down the Mall from my office near the White House. Seriously. And that, in the end, is why I will be in DC this March despite the many negatives I can see. I may hate the logistics and I may be stressed about the time cutoffs, but I will love running the race.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Now What?
Map out your future - but do it in pencil. The road ahead it as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip. -- Jon Bon Jovi
It's easy right now to keep looking back at Louisville with sadness and disappointment. And the longer this goes on, the easier it is to feel sorry for myself. I realized that the "Countdown to Louisville" clock is still up on the blog - but instead of marking "anticipation," it is counting days of downtime. Kind of depressing for me.
I haven't yet found an outlet. Running especially, and biking to a certain extent, provide me with a place to go with my thoughts. I run to stay sane. I run to work through problems. I run to find creative thoughts. I run to eat and drink. I don't just run because it's the third leg of the triathlon, standing between me and the finish (although I know a lot of triathletes that feel that way...for me, it's the swim). So I'm going a little bit crazy right now.
One thing that is supposed to help is having something to look forward to - so Iron Sherpa and I mapped out a plan for next year. It's in pencil - in particular because he's still picking his races and since he worked around IMLOU, it's my turn to work around his choices...but that's pretty easy given all the potential races around here.
This is what I'm thinking:
It's easy right now to keep looking back at Louisville with sadness and disappointment. And the longer this goes on, the easier it is to feel sorry for myself. I realized that the "Countdown to Louisville" clock is still up on the blog - but instead of marking "anticipation," it is counting days of downtime. Kind of depressing for me.
I haven't yet found an outlet. Running especially, and biking to a certain extent, provide me with a place to go with my thoughts. I run to stay sane. I run to work through problems. I run to find creative thoughts. I run to eat and drink. I don't just run because it's the third leg of the triathlon, standing between me and the finish (although I know a lot of triathletes that feel that way...for me, it's the swim). So I'm going a little bit crazy right now.
One thing that is supposed to help is having something to look forward to - so Iron Sherpa and I mapped out a plan for next year. It's in pencil - in particular because he's still picking his races and since he worked around IMLOU, it's my turn to work around his choices...but that's pretty easy given all the potential races around here.
This is what I'm thinking:
- January - First Day 5K, Frostbike 15K
- February - Half mary (TBD - probably Colonial)
- March - Mary (TBD - probably Newport News)
- April - RTC Sprint Tri?
- May - HIM (Kinetic or Raleigh depending on Iron Sherpa)
- June - Jamestown Oly (if Kinetic, not Raleigh, HIM)
- July - train
- August - General Smallwood Oly
- September - train
- October - IM Maryland!!! Redemption!!!
- November - OBX Mary (deferred from this fall)
- December - rest
I think it looks like a good, doable plan. I have plenty of time from when this stupid foot heals up until I need to get into training. I just need to be patient, keep the faith, and heal well first. If only it were easy!
Monday, September 8, 2014
Setbacks
I have a tendency, just because I'm an ambitious person, to get impatient with things and want them to be moving faster than they are. -- Pablo Schreiber
I thought my foot was feeling better. I was able to kind of walk across a room at home without my boot on and it didn't really hurt much. I'm starting to think that was just wishful thinking, because yesterday my foot really hurt again. I'm getting very impatient, especially faced with the prospect of 3 more weeks of hell, er, I mean "rest" after it stops hurting. I can't even get to the 3 weeks right now...and it's making me crazy, and mean, and depressed, and a little bit psycho.
So what better than to give you a quote from one of my favorite crazy, mean, depressed psychos! See how I did that there? :) Pablo Schreiber!
Mr. Schreiber, as you may know, is Nick Sobotka from The Wire (which we recently finished binge watching), as well as William Lewis from a continuing arc on Law & Order: SVU a season or two back. (As an aside, I'll admit that SVU has never been the same since Christopher Meloni left...but the episodes with Lewis & Detective Benson were pretty intense.)
Isn't it sad that my life has devolved to this? No training means more time to babble about TV. No wonder I'm growing impatient.
I thought my foot was feeling better. I was able to kind of walk across a room at home without my boot on and it didn't really hurt much. I'm starting to think that was just wishful thinking, because yesterday my foot really hurt again. I'm getting very impatient, especially faced with the prospect of 3 more weeks of hell, er, I mean "rest" after it stops hurting. I can't even get to the 3 weeks right now...and it's making me crazy, and mean, and depressed, and a little bit psycho.
So what better than to give you a quote from one of my favorite crazy, mean, depressed psychos! See how I did that there? :) Pablo Schreiber!
 |
| (photo: NBC) |
Mr. Schreiber, as you may know, is Nick Sobotka from The Wire (which we recently finished binge watching), as well as William Lewis from a continuing arc on Law & Order: SVU a season or two back. (As an aside, I'll admit that SVU has never been the same since Christopher Meloni left...but the episodes with Lewis & Detective Benson were pretty intense.)
Isn't it sad that my life has devolved to this? No training means more time to babble about TV. No wonder I'm growing impatient.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Patience
Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. -- Joyce Meyer
Apparently this stress fracture thing is going to require patience -- something that is in short supply and going quite quickly. I'm not sure I have the patience necessary to make it through the next 4 weeks or so. And even though this song rocks, it is unlikely Guns N' Roses will help with my drama.
So - an injury update. I saw the ortho last Thursday and he said it is probably a stress fracture. Still a tentative diagnosis, but I feel like he moved the dial from "maybe" to "likely." But even if it was a soft tissue injury, he said he'd treat it the same way...so no point in doing further diagnostics until 4 more weeks and if it isn't healing. In the meantime, here's my newest fashion accessory:
I hear all the hottest models are going to wear them at Fall Fashion Week this year. NOT. Oddly enough, it is the most comfortable to wear if I have a heeled shoe on my other foot since the bottom of the boot is elevated. So yeah - one high-heel, one fugly boot. And I was planning on paying more attention to my appearance this fall (since I got way sucked into Stitchfix).
The boot is for comfort - it's a heck of a lot better than the crutches. I'm supposed to wear it until it doesn't hurt to walk. Well...that's where the patience part is wearing thin ALREADY. The doc said I could row, swim (without kicking), and bike if it didn't hurt. Well. Yeah. Rowing sucks. I did 30 minutes rowing machine and then lifted weights on Monday- my first day back doing anything.
On Monday we also bought a new road bike for me. I haven't named her yet - but she's pretty. She's a 2015 Felt ZW-95.
Even though Iron Sherpa joked that it was a consolation prize to make me feel better for the DNF, the real reason is that the 9-year-old triathlete in my house has outgrown the biggest kid road bike and needs to move to a full-size. So we're giving her Baby and I get the new one. Yeah!
Unfortunately, I tried to ride the new bike on the trainer on Tuesday, but that hurt my foot. Drats. So biking is out for a little longer.
This morning I went swimming. The good news is I finally learned to unconsciously kick to keep my body alignment right...but kicking hurts. So swimming will be a challenge too. I think I'll try again on Friday but use a pull buoy the whole workout. Ugh.
OK - I promise. This is my last whiny post. Next time I'll have positive things to say about my stupid foot. Or about something completely unrelated to my foot. :)
Apparently this stress fracture thing is going to require patience -- something that is in short supply and going quite quickly. I'm not sure I have the patience necessary to make it through the next 4 weeks or so. And even though this song rocks, it is unlikely Guns N' Roses will help with my drama.
So - an injury update. I saw the ortho last Thursday and he said it is probably a stress fracture. Still a tentative diagnosis, but I feel like he moved the dial from "maybe" to "likely." But even if it was a soft tissue injury, he said he'd treat it the same way...so no point in doing further diagnostics until 4 more weeks and if it isn't healing. In the meantime, here's my newest fashion accessory:
I hear all the hottest models are going to wear them at Fall Fashion Week this year. NOT. Oddly enough, it is the most comfortable to wear if I have a heeled shoe on my other foot since the bottom of the boot is elevated. So yeah - one high-heel, one fugly boot. And I was planning on paying more attention to my appearance this fall (since I got way sucked into Stitchfix).
The boot is for comfort - it's a heck of a lot better than the crutches. I'm supposed to wear it until it doesn't hurt to walk. Well...that's where the patience part is wearing thin ALREADY. The doc said I could row, swim (without kicking), and bike if it didn't hurt. Well. Yeah. Rowing sucks. I did 30 minutes rowing machine and then lifted weights on Monday- my first day back doing anything.
On Monday we also bought a new road bike for me. I haven't named her yet - but she's pretty. She's a 2015 Felt ZW-95.
Even though Iron Sherpa joked that it was a consolation prize to make me feel better for the DNF, the real reason is that the 9-year-old triathlete in my house has outgrown the biggest kid road bike and needs to move to a full-size. So we're giving her Baby and I get the new one. Yeah!
Unfortunately, I tried to ride the new bike on the trainer on Tuesday, but that hurt my foot. Drats. So biking is out for a little longer.
This morning I went swimming. The good news is I finally learned to unconsciously kick to keep my body alignment right...but kicking hurts. So swimming will be a challenge too. I think I'll try again on Friday but use a pull buoy the whole workout. Ugh.
OK - I promise. This is my last whiny post. Next time I'll have positive things to say about my stupid foot. Or about something completely unrelated to my foot. :)
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Who, me?
Am I athletic? In my dreams. -- Hugh Bonneville
I'm still settling into the "injured" phase - hobbling on crutches is not a strong point of mine and I hate not being able to do anything. It was especially irritating the day after the race when my husband had to fill my plate at a breakfast buffet. (More irritating for him, than me, I imagine...) Hopefully I will have some answers and plans for the future after I see the ortho this afternoon.
Another irritating thing is realizing that I can't eat like a lumberjack anymore, particularly since I'm just sitting on my duff. :( Unfortunately my brain is light years ahead of my gut on this matter, and I still feel constantly hungry. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be up and running (and biking and swimming) again soon.
There is one cool thing that has come out of this, though. A few of the messages I've gotten via e-mail or Facebook after the race have mentioned that all athletes get injured - it's just part of life. The funny thing is that I've never thought of myself as an athlete really. I'm just a plain old middle-aged mom that likes to swim, bike, and run too far. That's not athletic. It's crazy. It's fun. But not athletic. Maybe I just need something to hold onto right now, but I think it is time to embrace the "athlete" moniker. I am an athlete. All athletes get hurt at some point. Being an athlete is better than being an athletic supporter. :)
I'm still settling into the "injured" phase - hobbling on crutches is not a strong point of mine and I hate not being able to do anything. It was especially irritating the day after the race when my husband had to fill my plate at a breakfast buffet. (More irritating for him, than me, I imagine...) Hopefully I will have some answers and plans for the future after I see the ortho this afternoon.
Another irritating thing is realizing that I can't eat like a lumberjack anymore, particularly since I'm just sitting on my duff. :( Unfortunately my brain is light years ahead of my gut on this matter, and I still feel constantly hungry. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be up and running (and biking and swimming) again soon.
There is one cool thing that has come out of this, though. A few of the messages I've gotten via e-mail or Facebook after the race have mentioned that all athletes get injured - it's just part of life. The funny thing is that I've never thought of myself as an athlete really. I'm just a plain old middle-aged mom that likes to swim, bike, and run too far. That's not athletic. It's crazy. It's fun. But not athletic. Maybe I just need something to hold onto right now, but I think it is time to embrace the "athlete" moniker. I am an athlete. All athletes get hurt at some point. Being an athlete is better than being an athletic supporter. :)
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Not What I Had In Mind...an epic race report for a non-race...
The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way. -- Robert Kiyosaki
This is one of the hardest blog posts I've had to write. My desire to be an Ironman was (is) strong. My Ironman dream was (is) crazy large. But I am now having to handle the disappointment along the way...and I'm not sure how well that's going. On Sunday I DNF'd (did not finish) Ironman Louisville. I dropped out on my own volition at mile 20 of the bike. 3 hours into my 17 hour day. And it hurts. A lot. A lot.
We got into town on Friday, in time for me to register and hit the athlete's briefing. I got to meet a friend that I had previously only known from online. She was volunteering all weekend and was the one who gave me my race numbers and swim cap. She also took this picture of me at registration...see how excited I am!
Afterwards we wandered around Louisville a little bit, had some food and got the girls supplies to make posters to cheer me on, and then went to the athletes banquet. Everyone had said as a first timer I needed to go to the banquet. Well, I went...and I was really unimpressed. The food was nasty and the "inspirational" stories were pretty cookie-cutter and repetitive. I talked with some of the folks at my table, but mostly I found it horribly boring...and I usually love that stuff. I cry at Hallmark commercials and those Foundation for a Better Life billboards. Sob stories always get to me. But the banquet just didn't do it. I was bummed by that experience.
After the banquet, we went back to the hotel and played cards with the girls in the lobby. While there, the skies opened up with a wild rain and lightning storm. I've never seen lightning like that in my life...and it rained forever. I knew that would make the water a bit wild, and that made me nervous. But this weekend was all about NO FEAR.
The next morning, my husband (now known as Iron Sherpa) talked me into going for the practice swim in the river. It left out of the swim finish -- not the protected channel where the race starts, but the wild wide open Ohio River. Well...the current was INSANE. I managed to make it up to the first buoy, turn around, and then swim back to the exit. Most people totally missed the exit and flew well past because of the current. At least I knew how to cut across, so that was a point in my favor.
Here's a picture from the practice swim...you can see that the first buoy (the one I made it to) is NOT very far upstream. After I got out and changed, the family brought me breakfast. We ate and then went to check out transition and the swim start. As we were walking, we watched a bit of the practice swim and most of the people still in the water looked like they were in an endless pool...lots of stroking, going nowhere. Yikes. But this weekend was NO FEAR so I tried to put it in the back of my head. Seeing the swim start helped a lot, because I could see that the water wasn't as fast there because of the island protecting the channel. I felt a lot better.
Unfortunately, sometime in this walking around by transition and the swim start, I felt my foot starting to hurt a bit. There was a bruised looking, swollen part on the top of my right foot. I figured it was probably psychosomatic, though - because I'm always "hurt" before a race. Y'know - you imagine that your knee hurts or whatever. Well, maybe you don't, but I always do. And then once you get on the course, amazingly it is all healed.
I also went back to Ironman Village to pick out the bling that I wanted to buy when I finished.
On Saturday afternoon, we put my bike and gear bags into transition. That was a really neat experience. First my bike got a glamour shot...OK, it was probably a picture for the purposes of insurance, but it was kind of funny when they set her up in front of the white background for her picture. Then this kid led me through everything I needed to know. He was really sweet and I felt a lot better about transition then.
By this point, my dad was in town. We went and hung with him. Part way through the afternoon (and after I dropped off my gear bags...of course), the skies opened up AGAIN. The rain was crazy hard and it lasted a long time. Not only was the river going to be wilder, but also my gear would be soaking. Like I wasn't already nervous enough. But I just told myself NO FEAR. We went out for pizza -- my favorite pre-race meal of course -- and then just hung out at the hotel room until it was time for sleeping around 9p. I was planning on waking up around 4a - not that I did much sleeping. And then it was the day.
IRONMAN DAY! The day I have been training for. The day I have been dreaming about. The day I have been dreading. It was finally here! And I was going for it!!!! Holey crap!
I woke up super early and went down to transition, where I was about 30th in line. I filled my nutrition bottles and checked my tires and then fast-walked down to the swim start. There I was about 50th in line. This was the plan, because I wanted to have as much of the 17 hours as possible...and I didn't want waiting in the swim line to eat into much of that time. My strategy worked, because I was in the water before 7:02am. Sweet.
Iron Sherpa came to wait with me in the swim line. On my hands I wrote "You Are Stronger" and "NO FEAR." I was ready for this race. Of course, I started crying because I was totally stressed...but I got my shizzle together before the start. As soon as the line started moving down to the water, I had convinced myself that it was all going to work out. And into the water I went.
The swim was interesting. I got felt up, fondled, and kicked a number of times - and probably did the same to a few (or a lot of) other people. For the most part, I really enjoyed the swim up the channel because I could see movement - I was making visible progress past the landmarks on the right (the side I breathe on). I felt really good. And then all of a sudden, I kept seeing some stupid boat (the Connie Linda or something like that)...it would not get out of my viewpoint. I was past the top of the island and the water was pushing me back. Plus it got really damn cold up there - the water I mean. Frigid pockets of dark water. Ugh. I kept fighting my way forward until I finally saw the red turn buoy...but I was worried I had taken too much time. I was sure I wasn't going to make the 2:20 cut-off because I had spent so much time just churning water. The water was a little intense around the buoy - between the current coming in and a lot of people trying to get around it, I got a little disoriented...but I rounded the buoy and I knew it was all downhill from there.
So I swam. And swam. And swam. I knew it was well over a mile back down to the swim finish...and it felt like it took forever too. But I kept swimming, buoy to buoy to buoy. It was harder to visually confirm my progress, since breathing right just showed me the middle of the Ohio River, which is really quite wide at that point. And I'm still not cool enough to breathe left. But I felt like I kept getting closer to the next buoy. The bridges over the river seemed to be coming closer as well. And so I swam. And swam. And swam.
While I was swimming around the turn buoy (and at the part of the channel where I was churning), my foot started to hurt again. It was weird to have your foot hurt while you're just kicking...but it did.
Finally I got to the swim finish. As the woman was helping me out of the water, I kind of slipped/tripped on the step because my foot hurt so bad. I hopped out of the water and into the walkway to transition. Medical came over and brought me a chair. They looked at my foot, could see the swelling and bruising, and asked if I wanted to continue. My friend who was volunteering also came over. I decided that biking shouldn't hurt my foot as much as kicking or walking, so I said I would go on. Hell, I'd figure out the run when I got there.
At this point, I also looked at my watch, thinking I was around the 2 hour mark or more...1:36! Yeah me! This from a girl who couldn't swim hardly at all last summer, I swam a tough 2.4 miles in 1:36!!!!!!!!!!! OK, so the current was helpful on the part down the river, but still. GO ME!
So I hobbled thru transition, got my gear bag & went to the change tent. This was my first IM, obviously, so the whole change tent thing was new to me. How cool! The volunteers were amazing. Multiple ladies asked me what they could help me with...I didn't take advantage of it, because I was thinking through what I was doing in my own head and doing it myself helped me focus, but wow.
And then I was off on the bike. The first 10 miles were great...mostly flat. The only issue I had was avoiding a crash at the aid station at mile 8...but I got around it in time and kept on. Then there were some hills, which were hard, but I was managing. Finally I got to the out and back...and the hills were huge! I was doing fine with the hills mentally and generally physically, but with every pedal stroke, my right foot was killing me. Pretty much any time I put weight on my foot, I got a sharp pain up my leg. I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to complete the out-and-back (going up at least 3 more big hills), let alone the rest of the race, so when I made it to a driveway where I could pull off safely, I got off my bike. There were some fans/support folks there that were cheering people up the hills (dressed aptly as the Devil and the Grim Reaper); they helped me get off my bike and over to a place to sit down and wait for sag. Since it wasn't an emergency, I sat for a long time watching all the bikers come up the hill and back down again on the other side.
Finally EMS showed up, looked at my foot, said I probably had a stress fracture or nerve damage, and said they'd bring me back out the main road. (The out-and-back was closed to traffic - they came to get me in a little ATV.) The EMS guys left me at a little church where I was taken care of by some of the church members. They got ice for my foot, let me call Iron Sherpa, gave me water, offered me food, and kept me company until I could be officially removed from the race by IM staff and until my family could get back from where they had gone to watch me come through on the bike.
When my family finally made it back to me, the church folks helped load up my stuff (including giving us a bungee cord for my bike because it doesn't fit on our rack properly). They also gave us directions to urgent care so I could get my foot looked at. And that was the end of my day. :(
(I'll spare you the boring details of waiting over an hour at urgent care, only to know nothing more than that something is wrong with my foot. Gee, thanks, doc...)
So here's my Ironman Louisville 2014 Finisher picture:
Not exactly what I had in mind.
That being said, I lived the day with NO FEAR. I know now that I CAN do an Ironman. And I'm going to do one. On the drive home, we tried to figure out if I could do one this year yet, but it seems kind of silly since I don't even know when my foot will be healed. Instead, at least for now, we've settled on IM Maryland 2015. The dream is still big, the desire is even stronger, and I hope that I can handle the disappointment until next fall.
This is one of the hardest blog posts I've had to write. My desire to be an Ironman was (is) strong. My Ironman dream was (is) crazy large. But I am now having to handle the disappointment along the way...and I'm not sure how well that's going. On Sunday I DNF'd (did not finish) Ironman Louisville. I dropped out on my own volition at mile 20 of the bike. 3 hours into my 17 hour day. And it hurts. A lot. A lot.
We got into town on Friday, in time for me to register and hit the athlete's briefing. I got to meet a friend that I had previously only known from online. She was volunteering all weekend and was the one who gave me my race numbers and swim cap. She also took this picture of me at registration...see how excited I am!
Afterwards we wandered around Louisville a little bit, had some food and got the girls supplies to make posters to cheer me on, and then went to the athletes banquet. Everyone had said as a first timer I needed to go to the banquet. Well, I went...and I was really unimpressed. The food was nasty and the "inspirational" stories were pretty cookie-cutter and repetitive. I talked with some of the folks at my table, but mostly I found it horribly boring...and I usually love that stuff. I cry at Hallmark commercials and those Foundation for a Better Life billboards. Sob stories always get to me. But the banquet just didn't do it. I was bummed by that experience.
After the banquet, we went back to the hotel and played cards with the girls in the lobby. While there, the skies opened up with a wild rain and lightning storm. I've never seen lightning like that in my life...and it rained forever. I knew that would make the water a bit wild, and that made me nervous. But this weekend was all about NO FEAR.
The next morning, my husband (now known as Iron Sherpa) talked me into going for the practice swim in the river. It left out of the swim finish -- not the protected channel where the race starts, but the wild wide open Ohio River. Well...the current was INSANE. I managed to make it up to the first buoy, turn around, and then swim back to the exit. Most people totally missed the exit and flew well past because of the current. At least I knew how to cut across, so that was a point in my favor.
Here's a picture from the practice swim...you can see that the first buoy (the one I made it to) is NOT very far upstream. After I got out and changed, the family brought me breakfast. We ate and then went to check out transition and the swim start. As we were walking, we watched a bit of the practice swim and most of the people still in the water looked like they were in an endless pool...lots of stroking, going nowhere. Yikes. But this weekend was NO FEAR so I tried to put it in the back of my head. Seeing the swim start helped a lot, because I could see that the water wasn't as fast there because of the island protecting the channel. I felt a lot better.
Unfortunately, sometime in this walking around by transition and the swim start, I felt my foot starting to hurt a bit. There was a bruised looking, swollen part on the top of my right foot. I figured it was probably psychosomatic, though - because I'm always "hurt" before a race. Y'know - you imagine that your knee hurts or whatever. Well, maybe you don't, but I always do. And then once you get on the course, amazingly it is all healed.
I also went back to Ironman Village to pick out the bling that I wanted to buy when I finished.
On Saturday afternoon, we put my bike and gear bags into transition. That was a really neat experience. First my bike got a glamour shot...OK, it was probably a picture for the purposes of insurance, but it was kind of funny when they set her up in front of the white background for her picture. Then this kid led me through everything I needed to know. He was really sweet and I felt a lot better about transition then.
By this point, my dad was in town. We went and hung with him. Part way through the afternoon (and after I dropped off my gear bags...of course), the skies opened up AGAIN. The rain was crazy hard and it lasted a long time. Not only was the river going to be wilder, but also my gear would be soaking. Like I wasn't already nervous enough. But I just told myself NO FEAR. We went out for pizza -- my favorite pre-race meal of course -- and then just hung out at the hotel room until it was time for sleeping around 9p. I was planning on waking up around 4a - not that I did much sleeping. And then it was the day.
IRONMAN DAY! The day I have been training for. The day I have been dreaming about. The day I have been dreading. It was finally here! And I was going for it!!!! Holey crap!
I woke up super early and went down to transition, where I was about 30th in line. I filled my nutrition bottles and checked my tires and then fast-walked down to the swim start. There I was about 50th in line. This was the plan, because I wanted to have as much of the 17 hours as possible...and I didn't want waiting in the swim line to eat into much of that time. My strategy worked, because I was in the water before 7:02am. Sweet.
Iron Sherpa came to wait with me in the swim line. On my hands I wrote "You Are Stronger" and "NO FEAR." I was ready for this race. Of course, I started crying because I was totally stressed...but I got my shizzle together before the start. As soon as the line started moving down to the water, I had convinced myself that it was all going to work out. And into the water I went.
The swim was interesting. I got felt up, fondled, and kicked a number of times - and probably did the same to a few (or a lot of) other people. For the most part, I really enjoyed the swim up the channel because I could see movement - I was making visible progress past the landmarks on the right (the side I breathe on). I felt really good. And then all of a sudden, I kept seeing some stupid boat (the Connie Linda or something like that)...it would not get out of my viewpoint. I was past the top of the island and the water was pushing me back. Plus it got really damn cold up there - the water I mean. Frigid pockets of dark water. Ugh. I kept fighting my way forward until I finally saw the red turn buoy...but I was worried I had taken too much time. I was sure I wasn't going to make the 2:20 cut-off because I had spent so much time just churning water. The water was a little intense around the buoy - between the current coming in and a lot of people trying to get around it, I got a little disoriented...but I rounded the buoy and I knew it was all downhill from there.
So I swam. And swam. And swam. I knew it was well over a mile back down to the swim finish...and it felt like it took forever too. But I kept swimming, buoy to buoy to buoy. It was harder to visually confirm my progress, since breathing right just showed me the middle of the Ohio River, which is really quite wide at that point. And I'm still not cool enough to breathe left. But I felt like I kept getting closer to the next buoy. The bridges over the river seemed to be coming closer as well. And so I swam. And swam. And swam.
While I was swimming around the turn buoy (and at the part of the channel where I was churning), my foot started to hurt again. It was weird to have your foot hurt while you're just kicking...but it did.
Finally I got to the swim finish. As the woman was helping me out of the water, I kind of slipped/tripped on the step because my foot hurt so bad. I hopped out of the water and into the walkway to transition. Medical came over and brought me a chair. They looked at my foot, could see the swelling and bruising, and asked if I wanted to continue. My friend who was volunteering also came over. I decided that biking shouldn't hurt my foot as much as kicking or walking, so I said I would go on. Hell, I'd figure out the run when I got there.
At this point, I also looked at my watch, thinking I was around the 2 hour mark or more...1:36! Yeah me! This from a girl who couldn't swim hardly at all last summer, I swam a tough 2.4 miles in 1:36!!!!!!!!!!! OK, so the current was helpful on the part down the river, but still. GO ME!
So I hobbled thru transition, got my gear bag & went to the change tent. This was my first IM, obviously, so the whole change tent thing was new to me. How cool! The volunteers were amazing. Multiple ladies asked me what they could help me with...I didn't take advantage of it, because I was thinking through what I was doing in my own head and doing it myself helped me focus, but wow.
And then I was off on the bike. The first 10 miles were great...mostly flat. The only issue I had was avoiding a crash at the aid station at mile 8...but I got around it in time and kept on. Then there were some hills, which were hard, but I was managing. Finally I got to the out and back...and the hills were huge! I was doing fine with the hills mentally and generally physically, but with every pedal stroke, my right foot was killing me. Pretty much any time I put weight on my foot, I got a sharp pain up my leg. I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to complete the out-and-back (going up at least 3 more big hills), let alone the rest of the race, so when I made it to a driveway where I could pull off safely, I got off my bike. There were some fans/support folks there that were cheering people up the hills (dressed aptly as the Devil and the Grim Reaper); they helped me get off my bike and over to a place to sit down and wait for sag. Since it wasn't an emergency, I sat for a long time watching all the bikers come up the hill and back down again on the other side.
Finally EMS showed up, looked at my foot, said I probably had a stress fracture or nerve damage, and said they'd bring me back out the main road. (The out-and-back was closed to traffic - they came to get me in a little ATV.) The EMS guys left me at a little church where I was taken care of by some of the church members. They got ice for my foot, let me call Iron Sherpa, gave me water, offered me food, and kept me company until I could be officially removed from the race by IM staff and until my family could get back from where they had gone to watch me come through on the bike.
When my family finally made it back to me, the church folks helped load up my stuff (including giving us a bungee cord for my bike because it doesn't fit on our rack properly). They also gave us directions to urgent care so I could get my foot looked at. And that was the end of my day. :(
(I'll spare you the boring details of waiting over an hour at urgent care, only to know nothing more than that something is wrong with my foot. Gee, thanks, doc...)
So here's my Ironman Louisville 2014 Finisher picture:
Not exactly what I had in mind.
That being said, I lived the day with NO FEAR. I know now that I CAN do an Ironman. And I'm going to do one. On the drive home, we tried to figure out if I could do one this year yet, but it seems kind of silly since I don't even know when my foot will be healed. Instead, at least for now, we've settled on IM Maryland 2015. The dream is still big, the desire is even stronger, and I hope that I can handle the disappointment until next fall.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Ready...Or Not
If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges. -- Pat Riley
When you are in race week, especially before an Ironman it seems, people like to ask you "Are you ready?" The answer is "HELL NO. In fact, I feel a little bit like puking right now." Honestly, is it possible to ever think you are ready to do an IM, especially your first one? I'm thinking no. I should probably stop telling people I feel like puking though. A bit indelicate.
All I can do right now is be ready for the challenge...by having a positive attitude and getting ready to strive to give my best effort...oh, and have everything I need in all of my brown paper bags. We leave for Louisville tomorrow! Get ready, Louisville, 'cause here I come.
When you are in race week, especially before an Ironman it seems, people like to ask you "Are you ready?" The answer is "HELL NO. In fact, I feel a little bit like puking right now." Honestly, is it possible to ever think you are ready to do an IM, especially your first one? I'm thinking no. I should probably stop telling people I feel like puking though. A bit indelicate.
All I can do right now is be ready for the challenge...by having a positive attitude and getting ready to strive to give my best effort...oh, and have everything I need in all of my brown paper bags. We leave for Louisville tomorrow! Get ready, Louisville, 'cause here I come.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Getting In the Moment
You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. -- Henry David Thoreau
My world right now is filled with doubts, stress, and hope. Just like Pandora's box, the most important of these is hope. It was hard to watch two friends DNF at IM Mount Tremblant last weekend. I am not them. They are not me. Their lives have been very different in the last 6 months than mine. But it is still something that sticks in a craw in the back of my brain. But I can't be looking backwards right now.
I also can't be looking too far forward. Yes, I am getting my bags packed. Cool - and dorky - no?
I am getting my family prepped. I am getting my head around the next few days. But the bottom line is that between now and midnight on Sunday, I need to be present in the moment. I need to be swimming during the swim, biking during the bike, and running (and walking) during the run. I have to live in the moment. Enjoy the day. Make the most out of my experience. There will only ever be one first IM race. I hope to hell that's right, because obviously a lot of the nerves that have plagued me for the last month have been related to it being my first and not truly knowing what to expect. There's only so much that books, webpages, FB threads, and friends can tell you. The rest will come in the moment. And this song pretty much says it...Jason Mraz, Living in the Moment.
My world right now is filled with doubts, stress, and hope. Just like Pandora's box, the most important of these is hope. It was hard to watch two friends DNF at IM Mount Tremblant last weekend. I am not them. They are not me. Their lives have been very different in the last 6 months than mine. But it is still something that sticks in a craw in the back of my brain. But I can't be looking backwards right now.
I also can't be looking too far forward. Yes, I am getting my bags packed. Cool - and dorky - no?
I am getting my family prepped. I am getting my head around the next few days. But the bottom line is that between now and midnight on Sunday, I need to be present in the moment. I need to be swimming during the swim, biking during the bike, and running (and walking) during the run. I have to live in the moment. Enjoy the day. Make the most out of my experience. There will only ever be one first IM race. I hope to hell that's right, because obviously a lot of the nerves that have plagued me for the last month have been related to it being my first and not truly knowing what to expect. There's only so much that books, webpages, FB threads, and friends can tell you. The rest will come in the moment. And this song pretty much says it...Jason Mraz, Living in the Moment.
If this life is one act
Why do we lay all these traps
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about some things
That will not happen to me
So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I'll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living our life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
Living in the moment
I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done
I let my past go past
And now I'm having more fun
I'm letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong
And I believe this way can be the same for everyone
And if I fall asleep
I know you'll be the one who'll always remind me
To live in the moment
To live my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I can't walk through life facing backwards
I have tried
I tried more than once to just make sure
And I was denied the future I'd been searching for
But I spun around and hurt no more
By living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
I'm living my life
Just taking it easy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
I got peace in my soul
Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
I'm living my life
Oh, easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
I got peace in my soul
Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
Why do we lay all these traps
We put them right in our path
When we just wanna be free
I will not waste my days
Making up all kinds of ways
To worry about some things
That will not happen to me
So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I'll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living our life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
Living in the moment
I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done
I let my past go past
And now I'm having more fun
I'm letting go of the thoughts
That do not make me strong
And I believe this way can be the same for everyone
And if I fall asleep
I know you'll be the one who'll always remind me
To live in the moment
To live my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I can't walk through life facing backwards
I have tried
I tried more than once to just make sure
And I was denied the future I'd been searching for
But I spun around and hurt no more
By living in the moment
Living my life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
Got peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
I'm living my life
Just taking it easy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
I got peace in my soul
Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
I'm living my life
Oh, easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
I got peace in my heart
I got peace in my soul
Oh, wherever I'm going, I'm already home
I'm living in the moment
Friday, August 15, 2014
Getting Organized
Getting organized in the normal routines of life and finishing little projects you've started is an important first step towards realizing larger goals. If you can't get a handle on the small things, how will you ever get it together to focus on the big things? -- Joyce Meyer
The quotes I use at the top of my blog I generally find using Google and Brainy Quote. So today I typed in "organized" and the stuff that shows up at the top of the results is all about organized crime. Not exactly fitting, but it made me laugh. So did this completely inappropriate clip.
What can you do...it's taper time. I'm not supposed to eat like a lumberjack, but the mental work I'm doing right now is KILLING me. Packing lists, what goes in what bags. How many calories I eat when. What am I forgetting. I HATE Excel, but I have a 5 page workbook that I'm making with all this stuff. Me, getting organized on the little projects so I can achieve the larger goal and focus on the BIG THING. Wish me luck over the next week...the packing and race anticipation seems like it might be as hard as the race!
The quotes I use at the top of my blog I generally find using Google and Brainy Quote. So today I typed in "organized" and the stuff that shows up at the top of the results is all about organized crime. Not exactly fitting, but it made me laugh. So did this completely inappropriate clip.
What can you do...it's taper time. I'm not supposed to eat like a lumberjack, but the mental work I'm doing right now is KILLING me. Packing lists, what goes in what bags. How many calories I eat when. What am I forgetting. I HATE Excel, but I have a 5 page workbook that I'm making with all this stuff. Me, getting organized on the little projects so I can achieve the larger goal and focus on the BIG THING. Wish me luck over the next week...the packing and race anticipation seems like it might be as hard as the race!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
The One Thing
The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach. -- Pliny the Elder
I watched a video about IM strategy from Endurance Nation. It talks about the Four Keys to IM Success, one of which being "The One Thing." What is your reason for doing an IM? What are you going to tell yourself when it gets hard out there? Why should you keep going forward instead of quitting? You need to rehearse your mental conversation about your "One Thing" before the race so you're ready to debate yourself on the course. You know - you're racing for your family member who died, or because you lost 150 pounds, or because you're raising money for charity - all fantastic reasons to do something like an IM.
But what's my one thing? I had kind of been avoiding my "one thing" because it's a big thing - something I don't like to think about or talk about. But if it is the key to winning the struggle, then it's time to deal with it. The thing is, however, it seems cheap to talk about it now. I was thinking about how to explain my "One Thing" on the way home from Masters practice on Monday night...only to arrive home to hear about Robin Williams' suicide. And then all of a sudden, it seemed stupid to think that my "One Thing" really mattered anymore. But that isn't really the right way to look at it. So here goes nothing.
Why are you doing this Ironman race? Because I'm tired of being scared. I suffer from some depression and anxiety, both of which lead me to fear many things. I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm afraid of being awkward. I'm afraid of not having friends. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid my family thinks I'm nuts. I'm afraid my daughters will end up nuts. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I'm afraid of people noticing I'm wrong. I'm afraid that someone will see how scared I am. And a few years ago, these fears became paralyzing. I stopped doing anything. My health suffered. My family suffered. My job suffered. I suffered.
But then I started doing something. I started running again. I was afraid to come in last, but I ran anyway. I started doing triathlons again. I was afraid I would be last, but I did them anyway. And once I got over the fear of being last, I needed to find something else to be afraid of. So last year I thought I should do a HIM. I would have to learn how to swim (scary) in the open water (scarier). I would have to bike further than I ever had (yikes). And I made it through. And you know what? My life seemed a little less scary after I accomplished it.
I was afraid the fear would come back...and so I signed up for IMLOU - that's twice as scary. And as long as I focus on something that big and terrifying, nothing else scary seems to be a very big deal. Along the way, little successes (breaking 7 hours, decimating swim fear) have added to my confidence, and that too has gone a long way towards keeping the fears at bay. The higher I reach, the less I feel the darkness.
So I let my husband read this before I posted it and he said I sounded a little like an adrenaline addict - I always will need to find something scarier or else face the darkness. I really don't see it that way. I believe there is flat terrain out there somewhere that isn't scary and isn't dark. If I get up to the flat terrain, I can pedal easy and maybe coast a little. (It can't be a downhill, 'cause that just heads back into darkness, even though it would be nice to not have to pedal at all.) But a nice flat, where I can maintain, sounds good to me. And I think I'm almost there.
I guess this post is a little deeper and more personal than most of my previous posts. Sorry if you came here for 80s music and cat jokes. IMLOU is ten days away. The battle from here on out is mental. And I will be fighting the good fight.
What's your ONE THING? I will conquer Louisville because I am beating the darkness. Fear will not stop me.
I watched a video about IM strategy from Endurance Nation. It talks about the Four Keys to IM Success, one of which being "The One Thing." What is your reason for doing an IM? What are you going to tell yourself when it gets hard out there? Why should you keep going forward instead of quitting? You need to rehearse your mental conversation about your "One Thing" before the race so you're ready to debate yourself on the course. You know - you're racing for your family member who died, or because you lost 150 pounds, or because you're raising money for charity - all fantastic reasons to do something like an IM.
But what's my one thing? I had kind of been avoiding my "one thing" because it's a big thing - something I don't like to think about or talk about. But if it is the key to winning the struggle, then it's time to deal with it. The thing is, however, it seems cheap to talk about it now. I was thinking about how to explain my "One Thing" on the way home from Masters practice on Monday night...only to arrive home to hear about Robin Williams' suicide. And then all of a sudden, it seemed stupid to think that my "One Thing" really mattered anymore. But that isn't really the right way to look at it. So here goes nothing.
Why are you doing this Ironman race? Because I'm tired of being scared. I suffer from some depression and anxiety, both of which lead me to fear many things. I'm afraid of not being good enough. I'm afraid of being awkward. I'm afraid of not having friends. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm afraid my family thinks I'm nuts. I'm afraid my daughters will end up nuts. I'm afraid of doing the wrong thing. I'm afraid of people noticing I'm wrong. I'm afraid that someone will see how scared I am. And a few years ago, these fears became paralyzing. I stopped doing anything. My health suffered. My family suffered. My job suffered. I suffered.
But then I started doing something. I started running again. I was afraid to come in last, but I ran anyway. I started doing triathlons again. I was afraid I would be last, but I did them anyway. And once I got over the fear of being last, I needed to find something else to be afraid of. So last year I thought I should do a HIM. I would have to learn how to swim (scary) in the open water (scarier). I would have to bike further than I ever had (yikes). And I made it through. And you know what? My life seemed a little less scary after I accomplished it.
I was afraid the fear would come back...and so I signed up for IMLOU - that's twice as scary. And as long as I focus on something that big and terrifying, nothing else scary seems to be a very big deal. Along the way, little successes (breaking 7 hours, decimating swim fear) have added to my confidence, and that too has gone a long way towards keeping the fears at bay. The higher I reach, the less I feel the darkness.
So I let my husband read this before I posted it and he said I sounded a little like an adrenaline addict - I always will need to find something scarier or else face the darkness. I really don't see it that way. I believe there is flat terrain out there somewhere that isn't scary and isn't dark. If I get up to the flat terrain, I can pedal easy and maybe coast a little. (It can't be a downhill, 'cause that just heads back into darkness, even though it would be nice to not have to pedal at all.) But a nice flat, where I can maintain, sounds good to me. And I think I'm almost there.
I guess this post is a little deeper and more personal than most of my previous posts. Sorry if you came here for 80s music and cat jokes. IMLOU is ten days away. The battle from here on out is mental. And I will be fighting the good fight.
What's your ONE THING? I will conquer Louisville because I am beating the darkness. Fear will not stop me.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Looking Forwards, and Back
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -- Walt Disney
This past weekend was my last "hard" training weekend before Louisville and it gave me some time to think. Multiple hours biking and running does that to you, y'know. Some of my thoughts centered around what's next after IMLOU...in particular, I rode with husband on Saturday and we talked about tentative race plans for next year. Other thoughts centered on how far I've come this year. It's hard to look forward without looking back. And I imagine it's hard to go on my first IM adventure without feeling some nostalgia, some sense of change, and a lot of paranoid fear. :)
And before I forget, I did a sprint relay with the cutest little triathlete (my daughter) yesterday. It was our first sprint and her first longer (more than a kids' tri) distance. She swam, I rode, and she ran (with me tailing behind as a chaperone). Here we are before the race:
We didn't get an "after" picture because we were too busy eating pizza and cookies. :) It was a lot of fun and I'm glad we did it, even though it wasn't really on my training schedule and I almost crashed my bike on the first turn because I was booking it...and that would have been a disaster. She and I had a great time and it felt like we were a team.
So, looking forward - it's hard to look at next year without finishing up this year, because I may have a few things left to prove to myself. Depending on how IMLOU goes, my IM thoughts for next year may be different...what will I want to do different? Hubby and I are talking about either IM Maryland, if it exists, or B2B full...both of which assume that we can get grandparents to town to take care of the smalls while we race since both are fall races (i.e., after school starts and soccer season is in full swing). And I'm pretty sure I want to do a standalone mary or two next year, but which ones and when depend on how OBX goes in November. If I beat my 5-hour goal, I may want to go back and kick Charlottesville's ass...the race that killed me, my knees, and my spirit in 2009. But that won't be a PR race - too hilly...of course, they've changed the course this year, so it probably isn't as hilly as when I did it, but it will still be hilly. If I don't go sub-5, I may want to find another PR course, Shamrock again or something, to finally hit that metric. So I can't really decide until then. And I really enjoy the HIM distance, so I'd like to do one of those, but the timing of the fall IM and our summer adventure (cruise to NORWAY, yippee!) make that difficult. There are a couple early season HIMs to consider, though. And someday, not next year, but someday, I'd like to do the JFK 50...but I need a sub-5 to qualify. And it wouldn't be during an IM year, obvs. But I need that sub-5 to even think about doing it in the next couple years. Oh, and my husband thinks I need to do an Oly (1500 swim, ~25 bike, 6.2 run) because I've only ever sucked at the 2 I did. One DNF, one way big struggle finishing after the official cutoff, etc. I don't really feel the need to prove myself via the Oly distance, but I guess it does make me a rather incomplete triathlete. :)
And now looking backwards...
I have lots more thoughts swirling in my head, but I should probably do something like my day job. Which I've neglected for far too long. That would also be something to consider for the future...don't schedule an IM the day before the semester starts. But what fun is life without a little challenge here and there.
This past weekend was my last "hard" training weekend before Louisville and it gave me some time to think. Multiple hours biking and running does that to you, y'know. Some of my thoughts centered around what's next after IMLOU...in particular, I rode with husband on Saturday and we talked about tentative race plans for next year. Other thoughts centered on how far I've come this year. It's hard to look forward without looking back. And I imagine it's hard to go on my first IM adventure without feeling some nostalgia, some sense of change, and a lot of paranoid fear. :)
And before I forget, I did a sprint relay with the cutest little triathlete (my daughter) yesterday. It was our first sprint and her first longer (more than a kids' tri) distance. She swam, I rode, and she ran (with me tailing behind as a chaperone). Here we are before the race:
We didn't get an "after" picture because we were too busy eating pizza and cookies. :) It was a lot of fun and I'm glad we did it, even though it wasn't really on my training schedule and I almost crashed my bike on the first turn because I was booking it...and that would have been a disaster. She and I had a great time and it felt like we were a team.
So, looking forward - it's hard to look at next year without finishing up this year, because I may have a few things left to prove to myself. Depending on how IMLOU goes, my IM thoughts for next year may be different...what will I want to do different? Hubby and I are talking about either IM Maryland, if it exists, or B2B full...both of which assume that we can get grandparents to town to take care of the smalls while we race since both are fall races (i.e., after school starts and soccer season is in full swing). And I'm pretty sure I want to do a standalone mary or two next year, but which ones and when depend on how OBX goes in November. If I beat my 5-hour goal, I may want to go back and kick Charlottesville's ass...the race that killed me, my knees, and my spirit in 2009. But that won't be a PR race - too hilly...of course, they've changed the course this year, so it probably isn't as hilly as when I did it, but it will still be hilly. If I don't go sub-5, I may want to find another PR course, Shamrock again or something, to finally hit that metric. So I can't really decide until then. And I really enjoy the HIM distance, so I'd like to do one of those, but the timing of the fall IM and our summer adventure (cruise to NORWAY, yippee!) make that difficult. There are a couple early season HIMs to consider, though. And someday, not next year, but someday, I'd like to do the JFK 50...but I need a sub-5 to qualify. And it wouldn't be during an IM year, obvs. But I need that sub-5 to even think about doing it in the next couple years. Oh, and my husband thinks I need to do an Oly (1500 swim, ~25 bike, 6.2 run) because I've only ever sucked at the 2 I did. One DNF, one way big struggle finishing after the official cutoff, etc. I don't really feel the need to prove myself via the Oly distance, but I guess it does make me a rather incomplete triathlete. :)
And now looking backwards...
- I've kind of outgrown Beginner Triathlete. It makes me kind of sad, because I have been a member since 2007 and it was incredibly helpful for a number of years. Plus I made some friends and so on. But the cool thing is that I've found some real life friends that are also really helpful. I love going to races when I know a bunch of people there. I love going to Masters and feeling love. And I've found that other types of social media appeal more to my need for positive thoughts (Facebook) and sharing my story (this blog). I've slowly been letting go of BT, but I think this is the end of our relationship. I'm not going to delete my account just yet, because maybe I'll get my head on straight after IMLOU and realize I really want to be there...but right now, I just can't be everywhere and it isn't as useful as it has been.
- I have an amazing capacity for mindless activity. I guess I always knew this - I can play solitaire on my computer for hours. But who knew I could ride back and forth, up and down the same road, for 3 hours? Or sit on my trainer for 6 - OK, I was watching movies, but that was mindless too. I guess that distance sports are really for me, since they generally involve hours of mindless activity, like running, or biking, or (heaven forbid) swimming.
- I learned how to swim. I'm still not fast, but I am not afraid. I can even find it a little relaxing (perish the thought)...more so in the pool, obvs, but even in open water, if I can get in my zone, I can chill out and just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
- I love watching people doing their first, or second, or third races. I love to cheer for them. I am proud of them for taking that first hard step, because I remember my first hard step. And then again when I dropped out for a while and had to take that first hard step all over again. Doing this IM makes me feel like a newbie all over again and it makes me really appreciate the true, and very brave, newbies out there.
- I haven't done everything right training for this IM. There are workouts I've skipped or shortened. There are times when I should have eaten salad but I ate junk. And lots of beer and wine. I could be a better athlete if I was more disciplined with my food and training...but I may not be a better person. Maybe next time around I'll try to do it a little more cleanly. Or maybe not. :)
I have lots more thoughts swirling in my head, but I should probably do something like my day job. Which I've neglected for far too long. That would also be something to consider for the future...don't schedule an IM the day before the semester starts. But what fun is life without a little challenge here and there.
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